And then there was light.

Oh my God, what is this funk I'm in?

Our house is a mess.  There is laundry to do and crumbs smooshed into the carpets.

I'm so bored.

I'm so tired.

I have a head ache. It's throbbing.  The light hurts.

This chair is so uncomfortable, and it's so hot.

I'll try the couch.  Still hot.

I wonder what there is to eat.

Hmmm, what can I make with instant rice and cheese.

Cheese.

I need to go to the store. I don't want to spend money.

I hate money.  We need money.

I hate working.  We need money. 

How am I going to keep working and be pregnant.

We need money.

No one gets it. 

My heart wants a baby, it yearns for, and demands a baby.

Why am I not pregnant yet?

Can we even afford one?

Does Dan want one the same way? Does he have these same thoughts?

This can't be normal.

What is wrong?

I should be happy.  We have it so good.

Kai is so loved.  He is thriving.  He is excelling.  Why is it hard to focus on.

Dan loves me so well.  Our marriage is strong.  We have endured.  It is excelling.  

Why can't I focus on that?

I should talk to him.

Maybe I'm depressed. Is it hereditary? 

This cant be normal. I'm not normal.  What's wrong with me?

I'm so tired. My head is throbbing. Not enough sleep.

"Um babe"... in his sweetest, most timid, and loving voice... "do you always feel this way or only once a month? Maybe like a cycle?"

And then there was light.  Tomorrow is a new day.

Carry on women, pray for more sleep, sweet kids, sweeter husbands, and a little sweet chocolate.